


Never Stopped

by BatuuPrincess



Series: Damerey Week 2019 [6]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst with a Happy Ending, Cigarettes, Ex Sex, F/M, Make Up, Post-Break Up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-18
Updated: 2019-10-18
Packaged: 2020-12-21 12:16:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,607
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21074756
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BatuuPrincess/pseuds/BatuuPrincess
Summary: They've been broken up for a year when Poe sees Rey at a party, but it's like no time has passed. So when she suggests going back to his place, Poe can't say no. Once there, he gets a lot more than he bargained for.





	Never Stopped

**Author's Note:**

> So the alternate title for this was "I just might love you forever/I hope you warm up to me" taken from the Mallrat song "Charlie" which I listened to nonstop while writing this. 
> 
> Also, I swear this is a happy ending, just bear with me.
> 
> Also, also I'm super proud that this hits all three prompts for the day: "I know," modern AU, and sweater.

“I see you started smoking again.”

Poe didn’t need to look up. He’d recognize that voice anywhere. 

Taking a long drag, he let the smoke curl and burn in his lungs before slowly letting it out, the night air immediately spiriting it away.

He knew that she would be here tonight. In fact, she had been the main reason he’d come. And yet, he’d spent most of the night trying to dodge her. Stepping out of a room when she entered, finding a different conversation to be in when he saw her approach, suddenly needing a new beer when the current one was only half gone, finally coming out here for a smoke. Should have known his luck would run out eventually.

Rey sat down next to him on the step, putting out a hand, short nails painted a purple so dark he wondered if it was black. Knowing what she wanted, he passed her the cigarette, trying not to watch as she put it up to her painted lips.

“Guess you did, too,” he said as she inhaled, holding it for a second before she released it, the smoke streaming out between her pursed lips.

She handed it back to him, a circle of bright red around the filter. “Never stopped.”

It was a lie and they both knew it, but he barked out a laugh, bringing the cigarette to his mouth for another hit. He knew it was just his imagination, but he swore the smoke tasted sweeter.

They passed the cigarette back and forth in amicable silence, Rey taking the last drag as it burned into the filter. She dragged the tip across the concrete, spreading a line of glowing flecks and ash before flicking the butt into the grass.

He picked up the bottle next to him, taking a sip before holding it out to Rey. “You want a sip of my beer, too?”

She smiled, lifting her own bottle from the step. “Nah, I brought my own.”

It was the most civil they had been in months, the last time they were in a room together ending in a shouting match that brought Finn’s birthday party to a screeching halt. To get an invitation tonight, Poe had to promise Finn that it wouldn’t happen again. He was better now, they were better now.

And yet as they sat there, alone on the front stoop, it all came flooding back to him. 

The first meeting, the dating, the moving in together, the years of domestic bliss, the proposal, the look of terror on Rey’s face, the rejection, the day he came home to find Rey gone.

It had been his fault, of course it had been. She’d told him she didn’t want to get married, that she wasn’t ready yet, and he’d pushed, wanting to check off the next box on his little list. Wanting so badly to give away that ring he wore around his neck. And so she did what she does best.

He couldn’t even blame her for taking off. It was her default response after her childhood, the years spent in foster care leaving her slow to trust and quick to cut and run. He knew this about her, accepted it as just another part of the woman he loved, and yet he was still shocked when he came home to that empty apartment nearly a year ago.

Gone. It had all been gone. Every stitch of clothing, every knick knack on the counter, even the bookshelves laid bare. That was the one that hurt, the empty spaces between his spy novels and sci-fi paperbacks where her books used to live. It had been such a huge step when they’d combined their collections, alphabetical by author, that each hole felt like a dagger to his heart.

A burst of laughter from inside the house brought him back to the present. 

“We should probably get back to the party.” He had done it, proved to himself and the world that they could be in the same room without tearing each other to shreds. But even this little bit had left him exhausted, ready for this night to be over.

Next to him, Rey took another sip of her beer. Her voice was soft when she spoke. “Not yet. Stay with me a minute?”

He’d never been able to deny her anything, so despite his better judgement, despite the heaviness in his limbs and heart, he answered, “Sure.”

Rey released a breath, stretching out those long legs in front of her.

Poe fixed his eyes straight ahead, the street quiet despite the soft music drifting through the open front door. 

Rey shivered beside him, a breeze sending the fallen leaves skittering down the pavement. 

What she was doing in only a thin satin cami and jeans this late in the year was beyond him, but he didn’t stop to think about it further, just shrugged off his leather jacket and offered it to her. Rey hesitated for a second, like she couldn’t decide if it was worth it, but another gust had her accepting it with a quiet “thank you.”

Minutes stretched. He could have sworn he saw Rey bury her nose in the leather, but when he looked up, those hazel eyes were steady on his own.

The words were right there on the tip of his tongue. _ I miss you_. _ Please come home. _

But Rey beat him to the punch.

“You want to get out of here? Go back to your place?” She kept the words light, but Poe knew what she was after, exactly how this would end.

“Right now?”

She shrugged, his jacket nearly sliding off her narrow shoulders. “Finn and Rose won’t miss us. And saying goodbye would just bring up more questions.”

He’d regret it in the morning, when the cold light of day brought its clarity. But right now, he knew he’d pay any price just to spend one more minute with her.

“Why not?” He stood, extending a hand to help her up. “You drive?”

“No, Uber. You?”

“My bike’s down the street.”

A grin spread across her face. “I wouldn’t say no to a ride on Black One. You good to drive?”

“Yeah, I only had the one.” He set the half-empty beer on the stoop for emphasis.

“Then lead the way.”

It was a short walk to the end of the street, Black One parked between an old Chevy and a minivan, helmet still perched on the seat. Thank god Finn lived in a decent neighborhood.

A beautiful vintage Harley Davidson, all matte black and chrome, the bike had once belonged to his mother, one of the last pieces he had of her. He loved it like a child.

Rey took a moment to admire the motorcycle, fingers running across where she’d so painstakingly stenciled “Black One” in orange against the black gas tank. It had been a surprise for his birthday - the name, not the bike - one that he had spent the better part of that day thoroughly thanking her for. In bed.

She seemed to remember that at the same time he did, a pretty blush spreading across her cheeks under the yellow glow of the streetlights.

He handed her the helmet with a soft smile. “I would have brought yours had I known.”

“You still have it?” Those big eyes shined at him as she settled the helmet on her head. It was too big by half, bobbling every time she moved her head. 

He reached up to tighten the chin strap. “What else would I do with a hot pink motorcycle helmet?”

Her answering smile loosened something tight in his chest.

Shaking off the feeling, he turned to straddle the bike. “Shall we?”

With a deep breath, Rey nestled in behind him, hands automatically going around his waist. It felt so natural to have her there, the familiar position conjuring memories of bike nights and long rides spent wrapped in her arms.

The bike started with a roar.

Easing them out of the spot, he could feel every breath she took, her heart beating against his back. It was almost too much, the heat and memories seeping in. 

Then they were off, wind biting at his exposed skin as he shifted from first into second. Rey leaned closer, her steady warmth the only thing keeping this ride from becoming unbearable. The temperature had dropped since he’d left for the party, weather finally catching up with the calendar. It wouldn’t have been so bad with his jacket, but he had no regrets about where it was now.

Thankfully, the trip back to the place they had once shared was quick, practically around the corner from Finn’s. If Rey was surprised that he had kept the apartment, she showed no indication of it as she hopped off the bike and waited for him to secure it for the night.

Each step toward his front door was an eternity, Rey’s ankle boots clacking on the concrete. A jangle of keys, the scrape of the lock and then they were in, a tiny ball of fur and fury throwing itself at their ankles.

“Shit, shit!” he shouted, trying and failing to find a collar in the dark. “Bee hold on a sec. Sorry, forgot to warn you, I don’t crate him anymore.”

A second later, light flooded the apartment, Poe blinking.

Upon seeing Rey, the little mutt went into a frenzy, jumping to lick her face as she crouched down to greet him. 

“Oh, I know. I’m glad to see you, too. I’ve missed you so much, buddy.” She was practically hugging the dog to her chest, even as he yipped and tried to wiggle up to get to her face. “I’m so sorry. I know, I know.”

BB-8 (or as they liked to call him, Bee) had been adopted from their local shelter nearly two years ago. Bee along with his brothers and sisters, BB-1 through 7, had been rescued from the basement of an old abandoned warehouse called Benson's (hence the BB designation, Benson's Basement) as a puppy, left abandoned in the frigid dark. It had been love at first sight for all parties involved. With fluffy white ears and a huge orangish spot over one eye, it was anyone’s guess what mix he was, but he had stayed small, a compact little fluff.

Though Poe had wanted to change his name, Rey claimed she loved it. 

“Babe, that’s not a good dog’s name,” he’d said, scratching behind the dog in question’s ears. “You need something sturdy, like Rufus or Harold.”

Rey had laughed, a light tinkle that set the dog’s tail wagging. “Harold? Really?

“Ok, maybe not Harold, but BB-8 just sounds ridiculous.”

Rey had just smiled and tilted her head. “I think it sounds like a robot name. And we can call him ‘Bee’ for short. Isn’t that right, Bee? Who’s my little robot dog?”

Something hitched in Poe’s chest as memory fused into the present, Rey sitting cross-legged on his floor repeating those same words. “Who’s a good robot dog? Bee’s a good robot dog!”

Not wanting to interrupt the reunion, he doubled back to close the door behind them.

He’d known from the start that this was the reason she’d wanted to come home with him. The only reason she’d step foot in this apartment again. And still his heart sank as she played with the little dog, driving that point home.

She loved Bee so much, it would have killed her to leave him behind. That’s how he knew he’d really fucked up. She’d left the dog.

Not sure how much more he could take, an idea started to form.

“Hey, I’m sure Bee has to go out,” said Poe, trying to sound like he was doing her a favor and not trying to get her out of the house. He reached for the leash hanging by the door. “Care to do the honors?”

There were honest to god tears in her eyes when she looked up at him. “Really?”

“Of course,” he said, handing over the leash. 

She clipped it on with a practiced hand, Bee nearly jumping out of his skin in excitement. “Go out” were his two favorite words, and as a notoriously long pee-er, it would give Poe a little time to regroup.

When the door clicked shut behind them, Poe took what felt like his first full breath in hours. 

Scrubbing a shaking hand over his face, he took another deep breath. 

He could do this. Another twenty minutes and she’d be gone and he’d be back to his Rey-less life. They’d part on good terms, and Poe wouldn’t have to beg invitations to Finn’s parties anymore. Yeah, he could do this.

Now, he knew the ache in his chest would last a while, that hollowed out feeling that came every time he saw her happy without him. But eventually that too would fade. It always did.

With a sigh, he made his way to the bathroom passing the still half-empty bookcases.

Rey hadn’t come from much, and as such she’d brought little with her when they moved in together. The books, a small dresser, one closet barely even full of clothes, that’s all he found missing when he came home from work that fateful day nearly a year ago. So little that it barely even made the apartment feel empty. Somehow that just made it all worse.

He turned on the tap and splashed cold water on his face. 

Then there was the nail polish.

It had been everywhere, Rey’s one and only luxury, the little bottles gathered on any available surface. Two on the nightstand, another sitting on the coffee table, and always, always, five or six clustered on the bathroom sink. He swore they multiplied on a nightly basis. And Poe, being Poe, had hated the clutter. He liked his surfaces clear and his space neat. Why couldn’t she just put them away?

Never in a million years did he think he’d miss it.

But here he was a year later, still thinking about those missing glass bottles. 

Reaching for the towel, he dried his face, catching a glimpse of his reflection in the mirror.

Poe ran a hand over his stubble. He’d skipped the shave that morning intentionally, knowing he was going to see Rey, remembering how much she liked him a little scruffy. _ Stupid_, he thought, shaking his head, _ so stupid. _

Truth be told, he looked as tired as he felt, his bones growing heavier as the night went on. Dread settled into the pit of his stomach, the knowledge that she’d soon skip back out of his life leaving him suddenly exhausted. He should know better by now than to do this to himself. 

Even if Bee stopped to sniff and lift his leg at every tree and pole and bush in the little courtyard (which was a distinct possibility), they would be back soon. It would do no good to stay in here all night. Better to practice what he was going to say to her once she came back.

With a sigh, he hung the towel back in its place, stepping out of his jeans and into an old tattered pair of sweatpants. Since he had company, he threw on a t-shirt for good measure, some old band he was pretty sure he didn’t even like anymore.

By the time he made it into the living room, Rey and Bee were back, the latter passed out on the couch and the former standing in front of the half-empty bookcases.

“Hey,” he said, easing his way into the room in his barefeet. 

Rey jumped.

He put up both hands. “Sorry, didn’t mean to startle you.” 

She laughed, running a hand through her loose hair. An old nervous tick.

“Guess I was lost in thought.” She paused, a smile playing at her lips. “I just wanted to say thank you. For letting me see Bee tonight.” Her eyes dropped to her boots. “With how I left things, I wouldn’t have blamed you for saying no.”

“Rey, I’d never keep you from him.” She finally met his gaze, her hazel eyes shiny with unshed tears. He knew better, but he couldn’t stop the next words from coming out of his mouth. “You’re welcome anytime.”

Klaxons went off in his head as Rey looked away again, his heart sinking to his feet. Stupid, so stupid, he was always scaring her away, when would he learn...

Her voice was so soft, he almost missed her next words. “I’ve missed you guys.”

Not him. Them. Him and Bee together. Poe refused to let himself hope.

But then she was taking a step forward, the distance between them evaporating in two strides, those dark purple nails reaching up to run through his hair. Poe’s eyes closed automatically, savoring the touch, a thousand memories flooding his mind. His hands settled on her narrow waist.

He could feel her breath on his lips when she spoke next. “You left the books.”

“It felt like a good reminder.”

“Poe…”

He opened his eyes, his hand drifting up to thumb away the single tear that slid down her cheek.

“We don’t have to talk about it.” The logical part of his brain screamed in protest. He ignored it.

Rey’s lips curled up. Poe recognized that particular smile. From nights and days spent wholly in bed.

“Good, cause I don’t think I want to talk anymore.” 

One second, Rey was smiling at him, the next, her lips closed the distance between them.

It felt like coming home, especially as her arms twined around his neck, pulling him closer until their bodies were flush. His hands found their way under the jacket she still wore, inching across her back as her tongue begged entry at the seam of his lips. Alarms blared in his head, his last remaining shred of self preservation begging him to put on the breaks, to turn back now before things went to far. 

Too bad he didn’t listen.

Before he knew what was happening, Rey’s cool hands were working their way under his shirt, even as he walked her backwards toward the bedroom. 

Prying his mouth from hers for a second, he practically panted as she moved her kisses to his neck and jawline, soft lips snagging on the stubble there.

“Are you sure?” he asked as they approached the threshold to his room, Rey sucking a mark into his neck. She started it, but he didn’t want her to think she had to finish it.

She paused in her ministrations long enough to look him in the eye. A small smile crept across her face. “I mean, it’s kind of a free pass, right?” The smile turned into a full smirk. “It’s not like we haven’t done this before.”

Poe pretended her words didn’t sting. 

But that was the joy of sex with your ex, right? It didn’t increase your numbers. Like Rey said, it was a free pass.

So he pushed all that down, the disappointment, his old hope for a future, how damn much he still loved her, and answered with his own smirk, “Exactly. So we’re doing this?”

“We’re doing this.”

Poe didn’t waste anymore time with small talk, moving them those final steps into the bedroom.

That got a certain someone’s attention.

The soft jingle of his collar preceded Bee into the room, presumably woken up by their conversation. And the moans.

“Whoa, buddy, not today,” said Poe, using one foot to hold back the dog while he (gently) shut the door in his sad little face. A low whine came from the other side.

Rey’s smile greeted him when he turned back around. “I almost feel bad for him. Listen, he's crying.”

“Sorry, but I refuse to let him in here knowing he’s just gonna end up licking one of us at the worst possible time.”

Rey’s giggle hit him right in the chest. “Just because he licked your ass that one time…”

Poe laughed only to find his mouth busy a second later. Otherwise occupied, he forgot all about Bee and the past and all the history between them, focused wholly on shedding all the layers until they were bared to each other on the bed.

Poe pulled back. 

Rey was on full display, a smooth expanse of unblemished skin spread beneath him. She looked up at him expectantly, one hand drifting up the hard planes of his stomach before stopping at his chest. Right over the spot where his heart beat frantically against his ribs.

If she could feel how fast it was going, she didn’t mention it, instead waiting until he spoke.

“Still sure?”

Her face was unreadable as she sat up to place a soft kiss on his lips. “Of course,” she answered, one hand roving through his curls. “But the question is, are you?”

Poe swallowed thickly, buying himself time. 

There would be hell to pay, that was for sure. It had taken him weeks, if not months, last time before he could drag himself out of bed at a reasonable hour, and more months still before he was able to make it through a day without breaking down. 

And now he was inviting her back into his heart, however briefly, and opening himself up to that world of hurt again. Maybe it wouldn’t be as bad this time, now that he was expecting it. That he was going into this eyes wide open.

He brushed back a strand of Rey’s hair before letting his hand rest on her cheek. “I’m sure.”

With a gentle nudge, he brought her lips to his own.

He’d worry about the rest tomorrow.

Poe woke to a cold bed and an aching heart. 

His hollowed out chest gave a lurch as it hit him. She was gone. Hadn’t even said goodbye. 

He fought the tears pricking his eyes, taking a deep breath. This was exactly what he expected to happen when he brought her here. He’d had no delusions about how this would end, yet somehow over the hours he spent making love to her…

No. That was enough. 

Poe rolled over, grabbing the pack of cigarettes from his nightstand before trudging out into the living room. 

Bee greeted him with happy barks.

“Morning to you, too,” he said, crouching down to scratch behind Bee’s ears. Bee whined. “I know, buddy. She’s gone.”

The concrete bit into his bare feet as he stepped onto the patio, that first hit of nicotine burning into his lungs. He needed to quit again, and soon, but today was not that day. Even so, he put it out halfway through. It wasn’t worth the headache.

With a sigh, he went back inside to face the rest of the day. Coffee. Coffee would help. 

Bee followed him in to the kitchen, the tags on his collar jingling in time with his steps.

“You’d never leave me, would you boy?” Poe reached for the coffee.

Bee tilted his head and gave him a long look before taking off.

Poe shook his head. “Thanks, buddy. Way to kick a guy when he’s down.”

God, how stupid could he be? He knew it was a bad idea to sleep with her again, and he did it anyway. And for what? One night of sex and six months of regret? A year of missing her and wishing she’d come back?

He slid the drawer closed with a little more force than strictly necessary. 

Stupid. He’d finally been feeling better and now this. Would he ever learn his lesson?

He was just about to hit brew when a whine from Bee had him poking his head into the main room. “What’s wrong, buddy?”

A key scraped in the front door.

Bee was off like a shot, at the door before it had fully swung open.

“Hey, buddy! Give me a sec,” said Rey, attempting to balance two coffees and a white paper bag. She was in one of his favorite sweaters, a chunky knit monstrosity that hung down to her thighs. “Down, Bee!”

She smiled when she noticed Poe watching from the kitchen. “Coffee and bagels, if Bee doesn’t get ‘em first.” Expertly dodging the dog, she set the coffee and bag on the table.

His heart pounded in his chest, tears threatening for the second time that morning. 

She came back. Well, actually she’d never really left judging by the breakfast and borrowed clothes, the way his keys jingled in her hand. 

He must have been staring because she cocked her head and asked, “Poe?”

Of all the things he’d been dying to tell her, he said the first thing that crossed his mind. “That’s my sweater.”

Rey laughed, the sound filling his normally quiet apartment. “Sorry, it was chilly out. Here.” 

She started to shrug out of the sweater, Poe raising a hand to stop her. “No, no, no. Keep it. It suits you.”

Her answering smile must have short circuited his brain because next thing he knew he was blurting, “I still love you.”

Rey froze halfway through nudging Bee out of the way. Those hazel eyes met his, an inscrutable expression on her pretty face. The silence stretched for four heartbeats before she answered, “I know.”

Poe tried not to let the disappointment show on his face, taking a deep breath and turning to go back into the kitchen.

Her voice was so soft he almost missed it over the sound of his own heart beating in his ears.

“I still love you, too.”

He took a step toward her, the nervous smile on her face giving him hope.

“You still love me?”

Rey swallowed thickly, the sound carrying. “Never stopped.” She blinked, eyes shining in the morning sun. “It was never about not loving you, Poe. I needed time, and I told you that. It was too much, too fast, so I did the only thing I knew how to. I ran.”

Not sure what to do with that information, he continued to close the space between them. “And now?”

He stopped about a foot away, leaving it up to her if she wanted to close the distance or not.

She took that final step forward.

“Now? Now, I want to put our family back together. If you’ll have me.”

“You’re sure?”

Her answering smile threatened to drown out the morning sun. “I’m sure.”

The tears Poe had spent the better part of the morning holding back now fell freely down his face. He couldn’t stop himself from pulling her into a hug so crushing, it probably bordered on painful. 

But Rey didn’t flinch or pull back, only held him tighter so he could feel it in his ribs.

“It’s not going to be easy,” she said, practically into his ear. “We both have a lot of work to do.”

Poe let her go so he could look her in the eyes when he said, “I don’t know about you, but I’ve certainly never been one to shy away from hard work.” 

She gave a half-sob before pulling him back into her arms and burying her face in his shoulder. He held her until the tears subsided, rubbing soft circles on her back.

When her shoulders finally stopped shaking, he dropped his arms, letting Rey step back.

“So, where do we start?” he asked, his heart light for the first time in a year.

Rey looked toward the abandoned coffee and bagels on the table. “Well, breakfast seems as good a place as any.”

So it was.


End file.
